I went to the store the other day in search of a tank top to keep me cool in the summertime heat. After scrambling through racks and racks of department store knock offs, I finally asked an associate, “Hey, can you tell me where I can find the male tank tops? ” The clerk put on an expression of confusion fused with bewilderment and after a few seconds of awkward silence finally said, “oh, you mean beaters, those are over by the underwear. ” "NOOOO you fool", I thought, "that’s the same answer I’d been given at the previous three stores, I’m not looking for one of those white-stripped, ill-fitting, body hugging beaters. " So my hunt continued through countless piles of short-sleeve tees until finally I found what I’d been looking for: a loose fitting, blue with black trim, all-purpose sleeveless tank top one that I could wear without being mistaken for a member of the Soprano family.
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